Navigating child custody and visitation after a divorce or separation is rarely simple. Even with a carefully crafted parenting plan in place, unexpected challenges can arise. One of the most emotionally difficult situations a parent can face is when their child refuses to attend scheduled visitation with the other parent. This scenario often leaves both parents feeling frustrated, confused, and unsure of their legal obligations.
If you are dealing with a child who is resisting visitation, you likely have many questions. Does the child have a say? At what age can they decide? What are the legal consequences if I do not force them to go? At Raheen Family Law, we frequently help parents navigate these delicate issues. As experienced family law attorneys, we understand the emotional toll this takes on families and are here to provide clear, compassionate guidance on Virginia law.
Understanding the Legal Obligation of Visitation Orders
First and foremost, it is crucial to understand that a child custody and visitation order is a legally binding court document. It is not merely a suggestion or a set of guidelines. Both parents are legally obligated to comply with the terms of the order.
When a child refuses to go to visitation, the custodial parent (the parent with whom the child is currently residing) is placed in a difficult position. The law expects the custodial parent to encourage and facilitate the visitation. Simply saying, “They don’t want to go,” is generally not an acceptable legal defense for violating a court order.
If a parent consistently fails to facilitate visitation, they could be held in contempt of court. This can result in fines, attorney’s fees, and, in severe cases, a modification of the custody arrangement in favor of the other parent.
Does a Child Have the Right to Refuse Visitation in Virginia?
The short answer is no. In Virginia, a child does not have the absolute legal right to refuse visitation until they reach the age of 18, which is the age of majority. Until then, the court’s order dictates the visitation schedule, and parents are expected to enforce it.
However, the reality of parenting is often more complex than the letter of the law. Courts recognize that forcing a resistant teenager into a car for visitation is not always practical or in the child’s best interest.
How Virginia Courts Consider a Child’s Preference
While a child cannot outright refuse visitation, Virginia law does require judges to consider the “reasonable preference of the child” when making custody and visitation determinations. This is outlined in Virginia Code § 20-124.3, which lists the factors a court must weigh.
The key phrase here is “reasonable preference.” The court will only consider the child’s wishes if the judge determines that the child is of “reasonable intelligence, understanding, age, and experience to express such a preference.”
There is no magic age in Virginia when a child’s preference suddenly dictates the outcome. A mature 12-year-old’s well-reasoned preference might carry more weight than a 15-year-old’s preference based on superficial reasons (like which parent has fewer rules).
When evaluating a child’s preference, the court will look for:
- Maturity and Understanding: Does the child grasp the implications of their decision?
- The Reasoning Behind the Preference: Is the child refusing visitation because of a legitimate concern (e.g., the other parent’s home is chaotic, or they feel unsafe), or is it for a trivial reason (e.g., the other parent makes them do chores)?
- Parental Influence: The court will carefully assess whether one parent is coaching, manipulating, or alienating the child against the other parent. This is known as parental alienation and is viewed very negatively by the courts.
What Should You Do If Your Child Refuses Visitation?
If your child is resisting visitation, how you handle the situation is critical. Here are the steps you should take to protect yourself legally and support your child:
- Communicate with the Other Parent: Try to discuss the issue calmly with your co-parent. See if you can identify the root cause of the child’s reluctance and work together to find a solution.
- Encourage the Visitation: You must make a good-faith effort to encourage the child to go. Document your efforts. Do not speak negatively about the other parent in front of the child.
- Do Not Use Physical Force: While you must encourage visitation, you should not use physical force to make a resistant older child or teenager go. This can escalate the situation and potentially lead to allegations of abuse.
- Seek Professional Help: Consider family therapy or counseling for the child. A neutral professional can help the child articulate their feelings and work through the underlying issues causing the resistance.
- Consult an Attorney: If the refusal is persistent or if you believe the child is in danger during visitation, you must seek legal advice immediately. Do not simply stop sending the child.
Modifying the Visitation Order
If the current visitation schedule is no longer working or is causing significant distress to the child, the appropriate legal step is to file a motion to modify the custody and visitation order.
To succeed in modifying an order, you must prove two things:
- There has been a “material change in circumstances” since the last order was entered. A child’s persistent and reasoned refusal to attend visitation, especially as they grow older, can sometimes constitute a material change.
- The proposed modification is in the “best interests of the child.”
Frequently Asked Questions About Children Refusing Visitation
At what age can a child decide not to visit a parent in Virginia?
There is no specific age in Virginia where a child can legally decide to stop visitation. A child must follow the court order until they turn 18. However, courts will consider the “reasonable preference” of a mature child when deciding custody and visitation matters.
Can I be held in contempt if my teenager refuses to go to their other parent’s house?
Yes, it is possible. As the custodial parent, you have a legal duty to facilitate visitation. If the court believes you are not making a good-faith effort to encourage the visitation, or worse, if you are encouraging the refusal, you could be held in contempt.
What if my child refuses visitation because they feel unsafe?
If you have a genuine, well-founded belief that your child is in immediate physical danger or is being abused during visitation, you must take action to protect them. This may involve contacting Child Protective Services (CPS) or filing an emergency motion with the court. You should consult with an attorney immediately in these situations.
Contact a Fairfax Child Custody Attorney Today
Dealing with a child who refuses visitation is a stressful and legally precarious situation. You need experienced legal guidance to ensure you are complying with the law while protecting your child’s well-being. At Raheen Family Law, we are committed to helping families navigate complex custody disputes.
If you need assistance modifying a visitation order or defending against a contempt action, contact us today. Let our experienced Fairfax child custody attorneys help you find a resolution that serves your family’s best interests. Call us at 703-223-5295.